I spend a lot of time reading children's books. When you read something dozens of times (often back to back), you tend to develop strong opinions about it. Still, I feel totally blind going into the children's section - things aren't divided by genere, there aren't a lot of authors I recognize, and the girls are pulling things from the shelves faster than I can keep up. So in order to get some of these feelings off my chest and hopefully spare someone the pain of reading Silly Sally hundreds of times, I thought I'd share some short reviews of the books my kids make me read, starting with our latest batch from the library.
- Ballerino Nate by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley
This was one of my favorites of the bunch. It's not a series, not based on a TV show, just a good old fashioned book. It doesn't feature cats, which is something of a rarity for us, and the main character isn't even a girl. It's a boy dog who decides he wants to be a ballerina. His older brother, who is in second grade and knows everything, insists that only girls can be ballerinas, and that ballerinas must wear pink shoes and dresses. Nate is distressed by this information, but nevertheless, he persists.
This is genuinely a good book. It's often enough for me that a kids book simply avoid the common things that can make them annoying - repetition, bad rhymes, clichéd plots. This one goes above that. It captures the uncertainty of exploring the world as a child, and how scary it can be to honestly be ourselves and persue what we really want.
Verdict: Highly recommended
- The Magic Word, by Mac Barnett
I picked this one out, based solely on the author. I first noticed Mac Barnett after reading Extra Yarn, which is amazing. After that I started looking him up whenever we went to the library (he's one of the only children's authors I can name), and found a few more gems in Chloe and the Lion, Rules of the House, and The Skunk.
The Magic Word is about a boy who, when asked to say "the magic word" by his babysitter, tries "alakazoomba" instead of "please" and thus discovers the real magic word. The book explores what it would be like to actually get whatever you wanted, and if it would really make you happy, which is a good topic for anyone to think about and not something you normally see covered in kids books. My girls are into several shows that revolve around granting wishes (Shimmer & Shine, True & the Rainbow Kingdom), and I don't know that either of them have ever suggested that having your every wish fulfilled would be anything other than amazing.
The book is also filled with these little details, both in the illustrations and the text, that make Barnett's books so great. Keeping a story equally interesting to kids and parents is a tough act, but he pulls it off. Or maybe he doesn't - I'm sure I liked this one quite a bit more than my kids.
Verdict: More Mac Barnett books, alakazoomba!
- A Wonderful Year by Nick Bruel
This was a repeat for us. The girls love one particular section, "Summer Sidewalks." The book is divided into four stories about a girl, one for each season. There are some unusal characters, including a hippo named Louise, a tree, and a can of beans. The kids love it for the silliness of Louise slurping up the girl when she melts and sticking her in the freezer, and I thought it was genuinely funny. The final story, about fall, gets all meta when the tree starts asking the girl about the book she's reading, and if it has any trees in it. The story about a story stuff is fun. You don't see it much but the ones I can think of have all been great (Chloe and the Lion, The Neverending Story, The Name of the Wind).
Verdict: Would check out again
- The Too-Scary Story by Bethanie Murguia
This was cute, and represents a common scenario at our house. Two kids ask their dad for a betime story. The older sibling wants a scary story and the younger does not. Whenever the story takes a scary turn the younger yells out "Too scary!" and the story takes a decidedly less-scary turn, which prompts the older sister to complain that the story is boring and not scary. The kids end up working together to banish a scary shadow, because the dad has somehow left the room and turned out the lights during story time, and apparently no one noticed. How did he get out of the room? Teach me your ways.
The scariness of a story is a big deal with kids, and is seemingly impossible to predict. Mac Barnett's Rules of the House has some rather scary looking things come to life and attempt to eat one of the children in the story, but neither of the girls ever claimed that book was scary. Our oldest brought home a book about a mean teacher from the school library last week (The Teacher from the Black Lagoon), and every night the little one wants to read it, but her sister says it's too scary and will give her bad dreams. When I came home from the grocery store over the weekend the little one was lounging in her bean bag beside a pretend pool, in her swimsuit, legs crossed, sipping some juice, "reading my comic book," which was, of course, The Teacher from the Black Lagoon. Later I found them both studying the book as part of their research on "bandits."
A story about the appropriate level of scariness was fun, and it was nice that the sister was the "brave" sibling. I also liked that the kids referred to their dad as "papa," something you don't see much.
Verdict: Recommended for kids who still worry if a story is too scary
- Barbie Space Princess by Random House.
(I am not at all surprised that no one wanted their real name attached to this)
I knew this book would be awful, but it was funny to read it and discover just how awful it really is. Most kids books try to slip in something educational, like how people try to put kale into brownies now (stop). Barbie Space Princess does not fall into this trap.
Space Barbie is summoned from her home planet where she enjoys dancing, hoverboarding, taking care of animals, and using her telepathic powers. The stars have started disappearing, and the King needs her help to save the galaxy and make the stars dance again. The king, playing the role of the square Barbie must rebel against, plans to shock the stars into dancing again with some electric probe he's built. Barbie and space-friends such as "Sal-lee" must hoverboard to the center of the galaxy to use the space-defibrilator to shock the stars into dancing again. Of course, this doesn't work out, and the real solution involves hearing the song inside of you and also your space-outfit changing into a magic glowing gown.
We "lost" this one in the guest bedroom shortly after coming home with it, and neither child remembered to ask about it. Amazingly, Amazon has nothing but five-star reviews.
Verdict: Would make an excellent gift for anyone you know who suggests Barbie isn't "that bad," or anyone who retweets Neil DeGrasse Tyson.
- When Your Lion Needs A Bath by Susanna Leonard Hill
We only read this one a few times, which is a shame because it's clever and fun and blessedly short. The final trick to get the lion in the bath is essentially the same as the climax of Splish Splash Splat (yes, we came home with two books about getting a cat into water), but funnier and in a tenth of the time.
Verdict: Thumbs up. Maybe helpful for the bath-averse
- Olive the Alien by Katie Saunders
I have a super common name, but I don't really recall books with my name in them as a kid. Maybe this is just a function of having a common name - I was used to having to distinguish myself from all the other Matts in every class, so it may not have been particularly memorable if a character in a book was also named Matt. When you have a less popular name though, any place you see it really stands out. Our oldest is named Olive, so we had to pick this one up.
The book is short, and is about a boy who thinks is baby sister may be an alien, because babies are strange (true). The girls got over the novelty of seeing Olive in print fairly quickly, but liked that it ended with a fart / baby poop joke. Poop is funny. It's not just a boy thing.
Verdict: Recommended for people named Olive and families with a second infant
- Snow Is My Favorite And My Best, by Lauren Child
I was introduced to Charlie & Lola when a friend sent the girls a copy of the excellent Slightly Invisible. Lola is the ideal Kid That Says Cute Things. She's old enough to ask interesting questions, and little enough to have all these adorable turns of phrase and odd word choices that adults love. Her older brother Charlie is patient and doting. As a parent, the books give you this calming hit of sibling harmony, where the older one cares so well for the younger that parents need not appear, and no one minds that the little one is clearly the star of the show.
The books apparently spawned a TV series (of course) that ran for a few years back in the mid-2000s, where the cuteness is bumped up a notch because now they all have English accents. Snow Is My Favorite And My Best, I was not surprised to learn after reading it, is an adaptation from the TV show and not part of the original canon. It's fine enough - it snows, Lola repeats the title a dozen times, and then after everything inevitably melts, Charlie deftly avoids what would likely be a meltdown with any real world Lola by pointing out that we couldn't go swimming and wear stripy party dresses if it snowed all the time. Lola's catch phrase in this one just seems a little over the top. Who talks like that? No one. Of course, this is the whole point of Lola - the cute speech of a two year old in the body of a child who no longer requires your assistance to poop.
We have another book that apparently came from the TV show, My Wobbly Tooth Must Not Ever Never Fall Out, that is a big hit with the girls. They regularly play "Wobbly Toothes," which is where they get on the tire swing and want you to spin them, whereupon they shriek and claim that their teeth fell out. This isn't my favorite game, but there's a low chance for a fight to break out, so I don't mind it so much. A book about loose teeth and the tooth fairy almost needs to be considered on a curve though, kids under six are mesmerized by these stories. My teeth are going to fall out? And I get money? What? It is wierd. Outside bones.
Really though, none of that is what I'll remember about this book. As we sat down to read it, I smelled something bad, maybe sour milk. This wouldn't be unheard of in the girls' room, maybe there was a sippy cup around that didn't get put away. Then I turned the page again and felt a breeze of dried puke wafting towards me. Someone definitely threw up on this book. Recently, too. Sometimes there are notes on the inside cover of library books from the staff, pages torn, March 2016. I checked to see if the vomit was noted anywhere, but maybe the librarian assigned to keep up with book damage took a whiff of this one and quietly reshelved it, deciding against further contact.
Verdict: Not my favorite, or Lola's best
Have you seen these "5 minute" books? You can get them on just about anything now. We have 5 Minute versions of Frozen, Disney Princesses (maybe two of these), and Disney classics. I sent my nephews a 5 Minute Marvel superheroes book, and once made the girls sit through a few 5 Minute Star Wars stories (didn't take). Peppa is another British TV show, and it seems like the full episodes are probably less than five minutes, so these are essentially unabridged. The biggest hit in this one once again involved someone losing a tooth, and all the strange stuff that goes with that.
Verdict: Better than letting them watch YouTube. Thumbs up for the five minute format.
- The Big Meow by Elizabeth Spires
The little one found this one and insisted we read it on the spot. I noticed it was long, and tried to talk her into just taking it home to read later, but no luck. After we finished it I tried to casually slip it onto the cart for reshelving, but she must have discovered it there because it was in the stack to bring home again before we left.
The story is a mix of the usual childhood underdog themes - the hero is different, rejected by peers, and saves the day at the end. The girls like it because they get to yell MEOW a bunch, and because all the characters are cats, which is like an automatic 1,000 bonus points for them. My main problem with the book is that there are a few places where lines start to rhyme, but the meter is off and then the next sentence it's back to prose. It's annoying to read aloud, it makes me feel like a bad rapper. I guess I prefer this to books with constant rhymes and bad meter (I'm looking at you, Pete & Larry Go To Texas), but both are annoying.
Verdict: Avoid. Maybe mention you heard it was scary.
- Lion Guard: Follow That Hippo by Andrea Posner-Sanchez
Before Disney hit upon their new strategy of doing live action remakes of movies we've all seen a dozen times, they were busy churning out subpar sequals to everything. I guess this isn't unique to them - did you know there are 14 Land Before Time movies? Apparently, in one of these, Simba has a son named Kion, who has his own show on Disney Jr.
My kids had never seen The Lion King until recently, but they know all about Lion Guard. This book was my introduction to the show. Kion has a crew that includes a cheetah (ensuring Olive's love for the series), a hippo, an eagle (I think?) and a honey badger. That last one caught my attention. I had to stop myself from asking "Is he nasty?" (he's apparently known for his bravery).
Anyway, the lion guard runs around protecting the pride lands from hyenas, which is of course what happens in this book, and I assume most of the others. This time, the Lion Guard has to deal with some posers, and most of the story centers around one of these groupies trying to train with the Lion Guard, which was probably done as a musical montage in the TV episode. I don't really remember much about this book other than trying to keep all the characters straight and pronounce all the names right.
Verdict: Worth reading so you know who your kids are talking about. Try reading it in Randall's voice and see how long they put up with it.
- Splish Splash Splat by Rob Scotton
It's easy to forget how much of a draw the pictures in a book are for kids. I remember loving The Poky Little Puppy as a kid, but all of my memories of the book have to do with the pictures - I loved their big heads and the different spots on each puppy. I remember disliking the pages that just show whatever else was on the hill (a snake, a frog). Having read it many times to my own kids now, I realize there's a good reason for that - the story is not worth remembering.
The Splat series is another one where we're just in it for the pictures. Splat has this amazingly meticulously drawn fur, his classmates are all distinct and interesting looking, and everything has this strange desaturated look that gives it a Tim Burton feel. The stories are okay, but not anything special. The highlight of this one is a few jokes about how cats hate water, and there's a lesson on sharing tacked on to the end.
Verdict: Not as annoying as some books I made my parents read